The Apple Girl Thinks I'm Old

I should start this entry by mentioning I'm twenty-nine years old,  I have never been married, and have no children. I went to the Apple store last week to buy Jenn (my girlfriend) a Christmas present. She wanted a purple Nano. A purple Nano is generally not something a man will buy for himself (especially around holiday time), so perceptively, the girl behind the counter asked me if I'd like a gift receipt. 

"no thanks" I said. "I'm pretty sure this is exactly what she wants". Notice I did not specify who "she" was.

So the girl looks up and me and says, "oh, is this for your daughter?".

Now, I'm twenty nine years old. I realize, I'm easily old enough to have a daughter. But I wasn't buying a Tickle-Me Elmo. I was buying an Ipod, an appropriate gift for few girls under twelve or thirteen. In other words, this girl was not-so-subtly suggesting that I'm old enough to have a teenage daughter. 

Not only do I not have a teenage daughter, but I'm more likely to date a teenage daughter than father one. 

I suppose it would be biologically possible for me to have a teenage daughter. Certainly, there are plenty of men who become fathers at 16. This is a bit of a leap though,for this over-personal Apple check-out girl to make though. I mean, I was buying an Ipod from the Apple Store at Chandler Fashion Center, it's not like I was waiting in line for a mortgage bailout. It seems a bit unlikely that she would make the demographic assumption that I fathered a child at sixteen.

No, what's more likely is that she was assuming I'm a lot older than I actually am. And honestly, that doesn't make me feel too insecure. The fact that I might "look old" to someone doesn't really bother me much at all. The thing that bothers me is that this moron has one very simple job that consists of four very reasonable tasks: 1) shoot the ipod with that laser barcode reader, 2) swipe the credit card, 3) smile, 4)shut the fuck up. She managed to fail at the fourth, and at times most important task on that list. Not only did she fail, mind you...She failed miserably. That fourth task should come with an extra disclaimer: "shut the fuck up, and whatever you do, NEVER EVER make assumptions about any of the customers". It won't get you anywhere, and you'll only end up offending people. 

Not that I'm offended, because like I said, looking or feeling old doesn't make me feel insecure. Nope...It doesn't bother me at all.